I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
