a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
