Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize