Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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