your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
