I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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