she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the day after is always just damage control
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
