Umm I'm too high to move.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
