Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
