standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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