i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
