That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize