Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
