In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
there is glitter all over my balls
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