And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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