The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize