I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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