I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
