the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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