butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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