yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
