whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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