I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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