Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
