...so i touched it.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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