Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
