Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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