You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
