But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
