i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
