I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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