Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
