you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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