im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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