She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
