Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
