I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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