Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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