While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize