Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
