Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
