Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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