Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
