in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Houston, we have a blender
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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