I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
