What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Someone signed my nipple.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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