I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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