I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
