apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
