Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
