babies were throwing up all over the place
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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