I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize