i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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