I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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