If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
