my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
