its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
