Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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