did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
