I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
