I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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