I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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