I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
