Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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